The First Step

Step One

For someone with a penchant to lean into (heavily) their ADHD tendencies, beginning is the hardest thing. Where do I even begin? Do I talk about my love for True Detective Season 1 (recently re-watched it) or the sick gym sesh I just had?

Do I delve into what my house cat has been up to or talk about how ChatGPT is a great therapist? Shall I talk about my unemployed existentialism or how the John Cena heel turn in the WWE has taken a ‘turn’ for the better with his reverse pipe bomb?

I think you get the picture. Ever since I was a kid, I knew there were multiple streams I could lean into, but what do I lean into? They say, 'Don't worry about failure—just begin.' But what should I fail at first?

Well, enough standing on ceremony and worrying about where to start. Let Jesus take the wheel and BLEED damn it! Bleed. Bleed onto Substack before the darkness takes over. Prove Rust Cohle’s prophecy (observation) of the light winning to be true. You have to prove it to be true because every time you don’t, the darkness will take over and you will be rendered not just a genre of philosophy but an extinguished being, for it is more than mere words on a medium or standing on ceremony that is at stake—it is all of my humanity, which is also all of humanity…

So, I’ve been vegan for more than a year, and it has been illuminating to say the least.

As a bona fide, certified, fully realised gym bro, people were obviously worried about what would happen to my gains. Would they disappear overnight? Would the lack of quality nutrition make me unwell?

As much as I appreciated the concern, it felt like they were more worried for me than I was. They were vicariously worried for themselves. Everyone at some point ponders these kinds of questions. ‘What if I went vegan? Would the world stop spinning? Would the heavens fall to earth? Would I be able to make it?’

So naturally I subconsciously turn into their substitute and within milliseconds their brains start running incomplete simulations of their what-ifs, which come out in the form of poorly, if at all, thought-through questions. Anyway, to everyone’s dismay, I made it to more than a year—a year and some change—on a vegan diet and also made those elusive ‘Vegan Gains’. More on that later, perhaps as we dive deeper into the dark corner of my vanilla lifestyle.

Until we meet next time, stay healthy and stay hydrated!